LATEST ARTICLES

Trump Has a Plan to Explain His Debate Sniffles

Las Vegas, Nevada - Planning to assure his followers that his sniffles are only talk with no action, Republican Nominee Donald J. Trump plans on reassuring everyone that even though he has sniffed, he has never sneezed nor will he sneeze on stage today. Trump plans on bringing up the fact that he’s actually heard Bill Clinton sneeze on stage....

Son Disowns Father After Not Being Able to Grow a Beard

Seattle, Washington – Nick Prasinski, age 23, has disowned his father today after he came to the realization that he will never be able to grow a beard. Nick says that as he came out of his teenage years he thought his beard growth was a little delayed, but after he recently passed his 23rd birthday, it hit him...

Woman Comes Out as Fake

Chicago, Illinois - Barb Telminster, age 48, has announced that she is a fake person. She says that she's been fake for as long as she can remember and she prefers to be that way. Mrs. Telminster made this announcement because she believes being fake is the better lifestyle to lead and she wants more people to try it. Mrs....

Family Arrested for Chaining Mother in Basement During Football Sunday

Kansas City, Missouri – A father and his two sons have been arrested today after it was discovered that they chained their mother in their dingy basement all day Sunday during football. A neighbor overheard the mother’s cries for help and called the police immediately. Police found the mother in deplorable conditions in the pitch black, cold, and dirty basement with...

Kid Buys Skateboard For Aesthetic Rather Than Skateboarding

skateboarding

Phoenix, Arizona - Feeling the need to look good for his first day of 8th grade, Drake Sheltz, 13, purchased his first skateboard strictly to use as a decoration for his outfits he wears to school. “I always loved how people with skateboards looked, but I don’t really want to learn how to skateboard. I figured I could just buy...

Woman Arrested After Assaulting Psychic

Bonnie Parker Assaults Psychic

Dallas, Texas – 38-year-old Bonnie Parker was arrested today after she attacked a psychic, 52-year-old Amy Lutz. Parker reportedly went to see Lutz hoping to find anything out about her recently deceased husband, Arnold. After telling Parker that she did indeed see her husband and that she could talk to him, The psychic Lutz went on to say that...

Global Warming Proved to be a Conspiracy!

conspiracy

Washington, D.C. – In a shocking turn of events, garbage man Bill Plumpreton uncovered a massive set of intertwined conspiracy theories that were orchestrated by the United States government over the last century. Mr. Plumpreton found a 117 page document hidden in a secret compartment in the Library of Congress that uncovers the real truth on events conspiracy theorists...

Donald Trump to Build Wall to Keep Hurricanes Out of the Country

Donald Trump's Wall

Washington, D.C. – Donald Trump has announced today that if elected President, he will build a wall to keep all hurricanes and tropical storms out of the United States. The wall will start off the coast of New York and will extend all the way down the coast to Florida and wrap itself around, extending into the Gulf of...

Hipster Becomes Depressed After Realizing He Hates Coffee Shops

hipsters

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania — Observing that he feels dismal every time he enters a coffee house, sources close to hipster Tony Redwing confirmed Thursday that he is no longer oblivious to the fact that he can’t be a hipster if hates coffee shops. Redwing’s parents and friends told reporters that Redwing came to the realization that he could no longer be...

Man Starts High Fructose Corn Syrup Diet

fat-guy-on-corn-syrup-diet

Denver, Colorado – Dave Camby, age 37, has started a new diet that he hopes will catch on, and he wants everyone to know about it. He calls it the high fructose corn syrup diet and it is exactly what it sounds like. He only drinks and eats liquids and foods that have the corn syrup in them. Dave...