Monday, August 20, 2018
Vin Diesel and Bigfoot

Bigfoot is Real!

New York, New York - In a shocking reveal that came out of nowhere, Bigfoot has announced that he is real. A press conference was held...
Speedy Gonzalez the Two-toed Sloth

Three-Year Old Boy Falls into Animal Enclosure

St. Louis, Missouri – A three-year old boy is safe after falling into the two-toed sloth exhibit at the St. Louis Zoo today. Three-year...
State Seal of Texas

Texas to Change State Flag

Austin, Texas - Texas officials have announced today that they will unveil a new flag for the Lone Star State. We at theBURNward.com got an...

Son Disowns Father After Not Being Able to Grow a Beard

Seattle, Washington – Nick Prasinski, age 23, has disowned his father today after he came to the realization that he will never be able...

Woman Comes Out as Fake

Chicago, Illinois - Barb Telminster, age 48, has announced that she is a fake person. She says that she's been fake for as long...

Family Arrested for Chaining Mother in Basement During Football Sunday

Kansas City, Missouri – A father and his two sons have been arrested today after it was discovered that they chained their mother in their...
Sparkler

Grown Man Still Fascinated With Sparklers

Peoria, Illinois - A Peoria man, 32-year old Joseph Metcalfe is still fascinated by sparklers even though he's an adult now. Most children lose their...
One Direction

Verdict Reached in One Direction Trial

Los Angeles, California - A verdict has been reached in the trial of the United States vs. the pop band One Direction. One Direction have been...
Bonnie Parker Assaults Psychic

Woman Arrested After Assaulting Psychic

Dallas, Texas – 38-year-old Bonnie Parker was arrested today after she attacked a psychic, 52-year-old Amy Lutz. Parker reportedly went to see Lutz hoping...

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Family Arrested for Chaining Mother in Basement During Football Sunday

Kansas City, Missouri – A father and his two sons have been arrested today after it was discovered that they chained their mother in their...

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Fox News Sold to Syfy Network

New York, New York - Fox News Channel (FNC), also know as Fox News, is a basic cable and satellite news channel owned by the...

Female Monarch Butterflies Sexually Harassed During Migration

Lawrence, Kansas - Researchers at the University of Kansas have found that as many as three-quarters of all female Monarch Butterflies are sexually harassed...

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