Sunday, June 17, 2018
Einstein

FDA Approves New Drug That Improves Intelligence

Washington D.C. - The US Food and Drug Administration approved a new drug today that is making shock waves around the world. Called Smartonal, the...
Fox News

Fox News Sold to Syfy Network

New York, New York - Fox News Channel (FNC), also know as Fox News, is a basic cable and satellite news channel owned by the...
Tom Brady

Just In: Tom Brady Suspended For Entire Season

Boston, Massachusetts - The NFL has announced that Tom Brady has been suspended for the entire 2016 season for, as Roger Goodell is quoted...

Son Disowns Father After Not Being Able to Grow a Beard

Seattle, Washington – Nick Prasinski, age 23, has disowned his father today after he came to the realization that he will never be able...

Woman Comes Out as Fake

Chicago, Illinois - Barb Telminster, age 48, has announced that she is a fake person. She says that she's been fake for as long...

Family Arrested for Chaining Mother in Basement During Football Sunday

Kansas City, Missouri – A father and his two sons have been arrested today after it was discovered that they chained their mother in their...
Donald Trump in Church

Donald Trump Attends Church For The First Time

New York, New York - Waking up Sunday and deciding to further his appeal to the Conservative Tea Party, presidential candidate Donald Trump attended church for...
Stoner

Stoner Says He’s Not Addicted To Weed, He Just Needs To Do It Everyday

San Diego, California - Quickly taking two bong rips then eating two bags of Cheetos, Californian Drake Standson reportedly told his family he isn’t addicted to...
Feminist

Feminist Are Mad Because Men Are Taller Than Them

Portland, Oregon - "Men being taller than the average woman is sexist!" Local feminist leader Brittany Tally told reporters Saturday "I refuse to serve under...

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New York State to Introduce Cheetahs to Combat Deer Population

Albany, New York - New York State has announced that cheetahs will be brought in to the state as an introduced species to help combat...
Rock Band

Cover Band Seeks Stardom

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Kid Admits To Only Playing Baseball For The Snacks After

Chicago, IL - After discovering that his parents are upset because he’s been on the bench for the first four baseball games of the season,...

Woman Confused On Why She Hasn’t Lost Weight Even Though She...

Austin, Texas - Chugging a glass of wine, and feeling exhausted after work. Bailey Miller admits she is still confused on how she hasn’t...

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