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Omaha, Nebraska – A woman and her husband stormed out of an Olive Garden today after waiting 10 minutes for a waitress after getting seated.

The woman, Cindy Mickelton, stated the following, “How dare they not take care of us right after we were seated. It was absolutely horrendous service to make us wait 10 minutes like that.” When told that the restaurant was completely full and understaffed that night due to multiple waitresses calling in sick, Mrs. Mickelton stated that she did not care and that that wasn’t her problem.

It turns out that Mrs. Mickelton is in fact the literal center of the universe. The very next day, Darden Restaurants, the parent company of Olive Garden and many other restaurant chains, stock plummeted and by the end of the day they declared bankruptcy. After declaring bankruptcy, all 1500+ restaurants under the Darden Restaurants umbrella were closed by the end of the week.

Darden President and CEO Eugene Lee is said to be walking the streets of Orlando homeless and destitute. Restaurants better be on the lookout for Mrs. Mickelton so they can wait on her every beck and call.


 

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