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Automaton

New York City, New York – Sony Music Entertainment, the second largest record label in the world, has announced they will be creating a pop music automaton that will mimic everything a normal pop star does. Effective immediately, Sony has released all pop stars from their recording contracts.

Says CEO Doug Morris, “We just can’t afford to continue paying these pop stars these outrageous sums of money to create something we basically already do ourselves. Most of them don’t write their own songs. We supply them with sometimes up to 6 or 7 writers and producers to write their whole record. Most of them can’t play any instruments. We provide all of the background sounds via computers on the songs. Worst of all, most of them don’t even sing themselves on their records. They use auto tuners that are once agin provided by us. By creating our own pop star automaton, we don’t have to pay out a dime to it, while also being able to keep all of the profits.”

The automaton will have a steel endoskeleton covered in live human tissue, making it look like a real human. The voice box of the automaton will be an auto tuner while it’s CPU will be programmable via a central computer. It is expected to go live with its first single sometime in 2nd quarter 2017. Sony is said to also be looking into creating a rap automaton as well. Only time will tell if other record labels begin to copy Sony.


 

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