Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – The Russian weightlifting team, who was previously banned earlier this year from the 2016 Summer Olympics for doping, was caught today trying to sneak into the opening qualification round for weightlifting. They came in dressed in the uniforms of Spain, sporting spray tans and their hair dyed black.
They almost succeeded in sneaking into the competition, until they were caught by a translator, when he spoke to them in Spanish and they couldn’t understand anything he said. Multiple people in the crowd claim Vladimir Putin was seen exiting the arena, sporting sunglasses and a Spanish Olympic jersey, once the Russian team was being put into custody.
The Spanish Weightlifting team was later found naked and locked in a broom closet with duct tape over their mouth and their hands and feet tied up.