Grumpy Old Man

Ponce Inlet, Florida — Clayton Ormond of Ponce Inlet, was officially declared miserable by his family and neighbors.

Milton Ormond, Clayton’s son said, “The wife and I have really had enough. We would bring the kids by for a visit and my father would continually complain about the way we were raising them and how my wife looked like she was putting on weight and he often would say to me that I’ll never amount to anything despite the fact that I’m chief surgeon at the Memorial Center in Daytona.”

Neighbor Sandy Harris added, “We’re tired of walking on eggshells whenever he’s out on his porch. The kids can’t play without him yelling at them to be quiet or stealing their ball if it goes on his lawn. We’ve had enough.”

Now that Ormond has officially been declared miserable, he’s not allowed to say anything to anyone. If he does, he will be fined. If he continues, the fines will escalate and may eventually result in jail time.

When reached for comment, Ormond told our reporter to fuck-off and hung up on him.


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