Tooth Fairyland, Nevada — With liabilities far exceeding her assets, the Tooth Fairy today has filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy and will immediately discontinue the practice of leaving money under a child’s pillow in exchange for a tooth.
She explained, “The market has evolved over the years and the children have become more and more expecting of larger and larger amounts of money and the market for teeth has fallen. I cannot sustain my current business model”
In the past, the Tooth Fairy used to sell the teeth she collected to China as a cheaper alternative to tiger bone. Ground tiger bone is used to cure joint pain and muscle stiffness. In the mid-eighties, tiger bone became harder to come by so the practitioners began cutting it with ground baby teeth and their customers were none the wiser. Today, most younger Chinese are moving away from traditional medicine so the teeth are not in high demand and the market has plummeted.
The Tooth Fairy added, “Santa gets subsidized by parents and is protected with an antitrust exemption. I just cannot compete.”
The Tooth Fairy didn’t say what she’s going to do from here but it is rumored that she’s going to be part of a new reality show, Folklore Fantasy Figure Rehab with Dr. Drew.