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Kid Playing Baseball

Chicago, IL – After discovering that his parents are upset because he’s been on the bench for the first four baseball games of the season, Chicago area kid Jake Chev admitted that he only likes to be on a baseball team in order to get free nachos and candy after a game.

“I hate playing any type of sport, but I love getting free snacks for doing absolutely nothing,” said Chev who added that his parents are now asking the coach if Jake could play at least one inning per game even though the coach says that whenever he tries to put Jake in, Jake insists that he’s sick.

“I plan on doing this for the rest of my life. All I have to do is sit on a bench, and I’ll eventually get free food. What more could I want?”

Chev concluded by saying that he plans on working at the snack shop when he is of age so he can get even more free junk food.

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