New York City, New York – Times Square was evacuated today after a man called 911 to report he had found a mysterious item sitting on a bench. After being evacuated, the NYPD surrounded the area as the bomb squad sent in a robot to investigate the mystery item. It all turned out to be a false alarm though as the item turned out to just be a copy of the New York Times newspaper.
The 911 caller, 17 year old Richard Chumley, stated that he had never seen or heard of such a thing as a newspaper before and said he was worried it was some sort of explosive device. When asked by reporters if he ever reads the news, Mr. Chumley became very abrasive and defensive and stated, “What kind of dumb question is that? Of course I read the news. I read headlines on Facebook and Twitter all the time.”