Fake Vegan

San Francisco, California – Admitting that he’s not a vegan for his diet or animal right purposes, local man Bill Franny confirmed Friday that he’s only vegan so he can brag about it.

“It’s just such a great feeling when you can go out to eat, and tell every person in the room that you can’t eat something because you’re a vegan,” said Franny, who added that since he’s been vegan for the last two years, it makes him feel extremely empowered when he shames people who aren’t vegan. “I’m not really against people who eat meat, it’s just that I could never be as low as someone who eats meat. I mean did I mention that I’ve been vegan for two years?”

Franny admitted to getting arrested on some occasions for harassing people about his vegan edge.


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