Dallas, Texas – The Dallas Cowboys announced today that they have signed Owner and General Manager Jerry Jones, age 73, to a 6 year 150 million dollar contract to play quarterback for the Cowboys, making him the highest paid player in NFL history. Despite this, the Cowboys said there will be an open competition between him and Tony Romo for the starting quarterback job, though Jones is expected to have the upper hand. The Cowboys released Dez Bryant to make room under the salary cap for this signing.
States Jones, “Our fans have suffered too long, with too many disappointing teams. I’m ready to lead us back to the promised land.”
Not to be outdone, sources are telling us that Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder is currently in contract negotiations with himself to become the new quarterback of the Redskins. It is believed he is looking for a bigger contract than Jones signed.