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Sparkler

Peoria, Illinois – A Peoria man, 32-year old Joseph Metcalfe is still fascinated by sparklers even though he’s an adult now. Most children lose their love of sparklers by the age of 7 or 8 but not Mr. Metcalfe and this is causing a problem with his family and friends.

Julie Metcalfe, Joseph’s sister says, “It’s embarrassing — we’re all out back around the fire-pit, drinking beers and watching the fireworks shoot off over the top of the Walmart and all Joe does is light one sparkler after another.”

Pete Weber, Joseph’s best friend since kindergarten agrees, “Hell yeah it’s embarrassing. We’re talking about sports and sex and stuff and he just stands there waving the damn sparkler around like a lunatic saying in a real deep creepy voice, ‘ha… ha… sparkler… it’s sparkles’. I’m telling you, it is down right embarrassing.”

Apparently, sparklers aren’t all that Metcalfe is fascinated with. Last Halloween there was an incident with a jack-o-lantern that got out of hand and required the Peoria SWAT team’s hostage negotiator to talk Metcalfe off his porch. Metcalfe is awaiting trial for that incident.

 

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