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Gary Bettman
By Alaney2k (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

New York, New York – Commissioner Gary Bettman today announced the decision; all seven Canadian NHL teams are to fold. Citing the fact that not one Canadian team made the playoffs this year, and none have won the  Stanley Cup in over 22 years, Bettman and the owners have decided to fold those north of the border.

Asked why they came to the conclusion Bettman stated, “Listen, Toronto is a mess and is decades from being competitive again, Edmonton is a pit for talent. No one wants to drive or fly to Vancouver or Winnipeg, and even though they have a chance to make the playoffs this year, no one wants to see Montreal win anything.”

When pressed further on why Ottawa and Calgary were included in the decision, Bettman said the owners were tired of watching mediocre hockey for so long.

This comes as a big surprise to many as the NHL was finally beginning to grow amongst the Canadian fan base after years of turmoil over the lockout.

We’ll see how this decision affects the rest of the league and play from here on out.

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