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Einstein

Washington D.C. – The US Food and Drug Administration approved a new drug today that is making shock waves around the world. Called Smartonal, the new drug is said to make someone smarter by up to 10 IQ points for people with a below to high average IQ score between 80 and 110.

They say that the drug has no effect at all on people with an IQ already above 110.  The FDA says that scientists became interested in conducting research on finding a drug of this kind after the popular movies Limitless and Lucy came out in the last few years. In each of these movies, the protagonist ingested a drug that caused them to experience increased brain function.

After a few years of research and clinical trials, the new drug was approved for distribution to the public. After an IQ test is administered that qualifies you for the drug, a prescription can be obtained from your doctor.

Side effects for those in the 80-110 IQ score range include nausea, vomiting, trouble sleeping, sweaty armpits, blurred vision, benign tumors, diarrhea, and loss of toenails. If any of these side effects persist or worsen, contact your doctor or pharmacist immediately.

The FDA warns that Smartonal is lethal when ingested by anyone with an IQ under 80 so it doesn’t appear that most members of the U.S. Congress will be getting prescriptions.

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